Everyone Should have a Chance to Love: Becky’s Journey

In the sub-group meetings Becky heard that many questions service users had about sex and relationships would sometimes be avoided or dismissed by their support staff, resulting in many unanswered questions. Becky advocated for her peers and championed this issue resulting in Voice for All writing and publishing a staff guide called ‘How best to support me with Friendships and Relationships’. This booklet focused on the issues people with a learning disability said were important as well as saying what good support should look like for them when it comes to ‘Friendships and Relationships’.

Becky commented; “Relationships should be allowed and encouraged for everyone, and everyone should have a chance to be in one”.

Feedback from Becky and many other members of the group found that being able to get together in a group with support workers and other people with learning disabilities, helped everyone to get involved and talk openly about any issues they had. Becky now feels much more confident about sex and relationships and said “Don’t be afraid of saying how you feel, speak to someone and increase your understanding.”

Lancashire County Council heard about the Voice for All booklet and staff guide and invited Becky to come and speak at the Central Lancashire Partnership Board attended by commissioners, service providers, carers and self-advocates to showcase the booklet. They were so impressed with the guide and Becky’s passion that they invited her to speak to all the Partnership Boards across the whole of Lancashire. Becky did this over a six month period, with the support of John Whitehead who helps to facilitate the work of Voice for All and the Relationship Group.

From here, Becky was invited to be a guest speaker at the 2014 North West Regional Advocacy Conference in Blackpool attended by over 200 people. And again in 2015, Becky was invited back to the Regional Conference but this time, to deliver a workshop on ‘Friendships and Relationships’.

Becky is constantly advocating about this issue and is a great ‘Friendships, Sex and Relationships’ Champion. She particularly advocates for more accessible and meaningful information on relationships and sexuality, and joint training in sex education for both people with a disability and their support workers.

Becky and Voice for All soon became valued members and contributors to the newly formed Lancashire Sex and Relationships Group and through this group met Sue Sharples, a qualified trainer in sex and relationships for people with learning disabilities. Sue was invited to and met VFA at one of their Relationship Group Meetings and was not only impressed but extremely moved by the passion and commitment of the members, who desperately wanted something to happen to make sex and relationships education, training and information more accessible and available.

Following this meeting, Sue kindly offered to run a six week joint training course called ‘Y Be Shy about Sex’. This was a much needed joint training course for both staff and people with learning disabilities. The course helped to break down barriers and boundaries, enabling everyone to be more open and share their experiences. It increased people’s confidence in discussing sexual matters, gave a good understanding of how their bodies work, a good insight into the different types of relationships and sexuality, a greater awareness of their sexual rights and responsibilities, how to develop and maintain safe relationships and many other topics.

The course, together with the VFA and Lancashire Sex and Relationships Groups, give service users a chance to talk about any issues, concerns or to ask any questions. They provide a vital opportunity for people to grow, learn and develop a better understanding and greater awareness about Friendships, Relationships and all Sexual Health matters.

The Brothers of Charity Services in England are currently developing a National Sex and Relationship Policy and Good Practice Guidelines. Representatives of both Self Advocates and Support Staff from all regions have together been meeting for the past few months to develop a policy which will be approved and implemented in the near future. The Brothers of Charity Services’ Policy and Guidelines will greatly assist and support both staff and service users and will also be available in easy read, making it more accessible for everyone.

Becky recently appeared in a 2 page article in the ‘Community Living’ magazine, an article written by Voice for All’s good friend and colleague Sue Sharples. Sue speaks about the fantastic work Becky has done and continues to do in promoting and advocating for better Sex and Relationships training, education, information, supports and services.

Becky has also recently been invited to train to become a Sex and Relationships Trainer herself. Together with John, and another self-advocate and their support worker, Becky will soon be attending the ‘Train the Trainers – Sex and Relationships’ course. This is a five week course which will start at the end of February.

The course will enable and equip Becky, John and others to deliver the ‘Y Be Shy about Sex’ joint training programme, not only within the Brothers of Charity Services but to all interested parties across Lancashire and the North West. There are very few joint training courses or opportunities available, and what’s special about this course is that people with a learning disability and their support staff, will all train together, learn from each other and be truly ‘equals’ in gaining further knowledge and a better understanding about this important issue of ‘Friendships, Sex and Relationships’.